This piece posted by “A Lady of A Thousand Tribes” Facebook Page – Reflection on the conversation she had with APNGWLN Executive Director, Cathy Alex.
I have always been fascinated by how people think and interpret the world.
In every situation, my instinct is to understand why people think the way they do, and to identify the underlying issues—whether within an individual or across an entire community.
I recently had a wonderful catch-up with APNGWLN Director Cathy Alex, whom I’ve known for many years.
We spoke candidly about why certain programs and agencies—despite significant funding—were not having a real impact at the community level, where it matters most.
At the heart of it, I believe the problem is a disconnect.
A disconnect in understanding our people.
Messaging that misses the mark.
Values that are unaligned.
Too often, agendas are pushed that do not fit our customs, our faith, or our way of life.
Under the banner of “gender equality” and “inclusivity,” these approaches are not bringing communities together—they are, in many cases, dividing them.
Something Cathy shared has stayed with me.
She described a woman walking through rough PNG terrain: a heavy bilum strapped to her head, filled with vegetables; a baby held close;
one hand guiding her children or leading a pig by rope.
Her husband walks ahead or behind her, carrying only a bush knife or an axe.
Through a Western or urban lens, this scene is often interpreted as inequality, oppression, or abuse of power.
But those who live this reality see something very different.
They see practicality.
They see partnership.
They see love.
A man’s primary role is protection—to clear the path, to keep danger away, to make the journey safer.
His hands are free for tools and defence.
A woman is the soul of the family—she carries what is precious and holds everything together.
He protects her so she can do what she is gifted to do.
To me, that is beautiful.
Even romantic 😊
We are not the Western world, and we should not be judged solely through Western lenses.
Yes, we have serious challenges—but we also have our own wisdom, logic, and culturally grounded solutions.
These should not be discarded.
Somewhere in between lies the right balance.
We need genuine donors and partners who truly understand our people—who can honestly assess the effectiveness of their programs at the grassroots level and are willing to pivot when something is not working.
No hidden agendas. Just mutual respect, alignment, and approaches that unify our people rather than create elitism and division.
Our people are suffering.
And if we are not listening, learning, or aligned—then we are part of that suffering.
